Tuesday, January 29, 2019

If you're not feeling yourself today


The circumstances- no Snowpocalpse for northwest Georgia, enough rest, a tank of gas, even, to a place i've already paid the fee: everything was there. Even if I stayed home, every element was in place to be productive in a hundred different ways. Everything was there, except in the space I breathe, the sluggishness right there in my sinuses, which seem at times to house a couple of carelessly-stuffed blueberries. So, patiently recuperate, take in ideas.
My friend has a very sociable train of thought but lives a bit isolated with her family. She's a long ways from the vibe of the Arizona desert kids now, physically. She probably feels like she peaked in Coolness all-too-long ago, but what can you do? And right after I enjoyed this video sent by my seventy-three year old cousin, I found her general encouragement to men. By that I mean, some words telling you, if you've not been feeling up to snuff lately, you keep going, so stay strong.
Feeling unwell- if you have the luxury of knowing the worst of it's temporary, you reflect on it in context. What's it like for those who don't anticipate things getting better?
Should they try a three day water fast?

Who has time to be weak?
But if you don't choose, Life will make a time.

I'm lucky it's just a cold..At least, that's the latest reason for whatever I can't get rolling.
I'm considering a fast for three days, Sunday. I'm ready to see if I can take some new ideas ahead while being as decent a person as possible.
Sometimes it feels like the most decent people only have time for others and a bit for their private peace of mind, and pursuing your own personal agenda, a bit selfish. But I guess whatever we're devoted to doing and not doing is our personal agenda, and I tell myself there's something in there that could turn a few hours, days or years of my life into something terrific for anyone. I guess anyone who reaches inside for the reserves to keep going has that feeling in common, a kind of service.

Yet there's been this lingering sense of apathy and detachment hiding in the corners of my enthusiasm, too. A kind of malaise waiting to come to the surface, felt, and, for a time, released. Even though I know, on some level, it's just my desifre for some things in my life dying away because the time's not right. It's a few sad mental adjustments you might call resignation.

One single day, where I could make love once, teach a morning set of classes to my best ability, read stories from a favorite author with evocative, emotionally-involved illustrations, and words from those who enjoyed the stories, while I was a baby. Make my Mom lunch. Pat my cat. Remind my darling how I'm often thinking some gleeful thought about her being alive.

You have to set how you feel into a context. Some of you are surrounded by your demands, and your demands are people, children, even, and you don't turn off a screen after half an hour. I know it's hard sometimes but what you get back is part of some lasting effort.
https://www.facebook.com/buddybrowncountry/videos/10156195384282506/ I am not always serious. CAn you tell when?

Some of you may feel lost in the world made of your choices. Some may just be tempted to see how much money you can make for its own sake, how far you can push that sort of success.

I can only imagine. It might be your birthday. It might be one of your last days before you're sentenced to jail time. It might the most boring day in a string of them, and it might be some of your last on Earth. You may feel undone by all the harm done in the name of progress and all the wrong done in the name of promoting a better idea. You may wonder what it'd be like to just live as far from almost everyone, or everyone, as possible. As for how each of you reading spent the time before reading this, I can only imagine.

But do know there are many people dedicated to encouragement, out there. If you didn't connect with one, can you remember one? You were not really obligated to make the world any better than you left it, however sincerely we may take, some of us, that moral imperative. It's all about choices. Your brain gets a good chemical each time you made a good one. You know your reward when you see it.

If today was a day you rather ran out of whatever it is you have to give, I encourage you. Get some rest. Let restful thoughts and replenishment be your goal. For some it's a prayer, or whatever you call that private set of thoughts where you simply have to ask something, from somewhere, for something. Some may be out of those thoughts, to the tune of great resentment, and little hope- only enough hope to keep living to despair.

And you may 've somehow found your way to this page with no sense of drama ongoing about any of these things.

But as one friend posted, in sentiments for some person on her mind, or anyone in particular, or even, along with countless off-color and quippy memes and some other glances at her opinion,
if you're not feeling yourself today, basically: stay strong. Refuse to quit.

Keep getting up.