Brother, can ya spare a little empathy?

I was inspired by a charming meme I've seen go around. I guess I had to see it at the right time, or enough times, or from the right person to inspire me to say something possibly worthwhile in return.



I really do agree. You know the hardest thing about opening up, though? I bet it's no different regardless of gender, this thing: we feel the need to put out something aspirational, funny, and in no way add to the lurking potentially depressing atmosphere around anyone who may be reading/ listening. We know we should let all the negatives, go, and wield the light, and not be self-centered. And sometimes, we also think no one will express empathy or support, and we'll feel like we opened up and hah, here's more proof you can't count on anyone (which is not empirically so, but we're not talking about being purely rational). But learning to avoid that risk of vulnerability is as bad in its own way as people being dramatic for attention. But you can't understand how others you care about feel if you lose track of how YOU feel. How YOU feel- if you are striving to keep it to any kind of standard- is going to call on you to be truthful It might very well require you try to express yourself to someone else. There may be a quality in that listener- hell, sometimes the fact they aren't a great listener! Or maybe it's just your dog, who at least won't interrupt, talking. The qualities of your audience will allow you to see the shape of your own thoughts. Know thyself.
Even if you simply sit down to write, like this, you at least get to see what's going on inside. If you're inspired to write to someone- like half of this was intended- they just might evoke strength and perspective in that expression.


I want to be clear: I feel like a lot of the meanness going on these days stems from an unhealthy attitude about this very thing! Its consequences are catostrophic. On virtually this very day, two years ago, I watched an inability to simply go get therapy build, along with a lot of attitudes festering online, fuel a man's destruction of all his closest family relationships. So many horrible opinions are the result of men disconnected from their feelings, and then, the ability to see other points of view. It flows right into the lives of many bitter women, too. It is bitterness, including each gender, that leads to demonization, cruelty, blind stupidity- opinions that then utilize a fraemwork of other falsehoods that seem to connect with the entire negative identity. The denial of Facts themselves can be followed right back to our opinions of ourselves. When we reject the truth about ourselves, we reject truth in objective matters outside ourselves, also. It's all part of one big embrace of lies.

We can't be too hard on ourselves for not knowing everything- who knows everything? We can't be too hard on ourselves for having emotions, or we will have only hard emotions. Palm trees do not break in a hurricane, so often, because they are stong, but pliant. They naturally know when to bend as a response to great pressures. But sure enough, they are damn near impossible to break, because they are not rigid, yet they are not brittle. They can lose a few fronds and stay rooted.

Guys need to bear in mind the healthiness of sharing vulnerablity, at least, with someone they trust. It's so easy to get that impulse mixed up with ridiculous, even vampiric, drama regentry, or for the inherently noble, being negative or egotistical. Some guys are truly bearing an empathic load and great responsibilities. If they will only let their friends add their strength, they will find more capacity to summon that will- and benefit everyone in their life, all the more.