Alone in social media wasteland (or is it- and am I?)

In that rare instance of admitting to the loneliness that occasions many of us in the social media world, I wrote this response- broken into three comments, because, as my pal Shawn once put it, 'respect the OS (operating system)- to a friend who was frustrated with putting his personal life out there into the void, as it were. He felt like it was a big waste of time. And I do know the impulse to channel some anger at the sheer sensation of anonimity.

So, how is it that we sometimes seem to be wasting our sincere efforts to communicate, when we thought we'd accepted this friend request or that, and now we'd have our pick of regular contact with a variety of cool people.

I said:

I wonder about that, too, friend.

I wouldn't say none, 99% of the time, no, but I wonder how crowded are the algorithims of the 1400 or so FB friends I have, that so many are missed? It used to be, posting at peak times yielded better results, and replies and interactions seem to boost visibility of a post.

Then, I take into account the ten or so friends I have who post in such massive volumes that I can't really see the posts of others. I don't want to hide or un-follow those people, but the process chokes out seeing into the further reaches of my friends lists. I have to think about a given person and go give them a looksie to start seeing them again, often. It's not that guy or gal's fault that FB thinks I want to see very single one of the two dozen posts or more a day, at the expense of furthering connections with others. I often find something of value in what said friends have to post. Several of them are good at digging out laughs.


And how much time can I dare spend on here, too?
I feel like I've been reading posts so much...and sometimes it's impossible to process the variety of articles or quality of thoughts without devoting hours to the app. Sometimes, the time factor and the sheer rigor of some postulations means I have to pass on a few very intelligent posts. And if you're like me, there's often a personal investment in what I share, rather than just memes picked off while randomly surfing. I am often the only 'like' on a post- that must happen half a dozen times a day, if once. When I'm in a bit of a haze, I just scroll without responding to anyone, because I'm feeling depressed. I should probably try a book instead.


Not to poke the bear- I hope- but unless I'm missing something, often, I'd say I see about one or so of your posts almost daily. I tend to invest a little something in it, to let people know they are, at least in some superficial sense, not alone.

More to the point, I hope you don't feel emotionally isolated like this too often. I was feeling this way pretty seriously for a couple of weeks. There's a lot more factors than the personal. I think some people have been out in public life a lot locally, and get more interactions online, too.
Sometimes I've posted about my students, to crickets. Then, I post about Umbrella Academy or something funny with Patrick Stewart, and here's ten.
If it's something I think is really important, like my posts about the Elm Street Brigade, I might feel disappointed when no one responds. But they're just looking for entertainment, not ways to get involved. Then again: FB posts being shared is how I got to connect the 3-D printer idea with the local teachers at Elm Street!
I found the post I paid to promote got the crochet idea out to many, many people. I hope some did it!

A couple of friends maintain enough Left/ Right inclined people to moderate lengthy political arguments. I can think of more than one, whose posts often seem to get little attention except mine. It also factors in who you PM with.
For a while, if I had a picture of me and my cute wife, it got enough feel-good energy to draw in many more friends.

And that's most of what I shared.
I have more thoughts on this. You could pen a lengthy digression and even cite references to studies and tips.
But I've also learned, most people are only looking for a dive, so deep. If I had one of the blogs lucky enough to gain more interaction in the comments, it's a good conversation. Then again, I've seen the comments of some news articles- they vary from rather unoriginal put-downs and unfocused rage, to surprising investments in analysis.

I think for a lot of people, they dismiss the whole idea of feeling ignore online without much kindness. Then you have people like my wife, who have just had enough disappointment and boredom with their assimilation of social media friends as to not miss it most of the time. I update her on posts and lives of our common friends, anyway. She's never needed much to feel deep love towards people. She's also used to not being much of a blip on social media. She knows people care, and some admire her in ways. She's adept at keeping her own council. That's awesome, but next time we complete an artistic project, I dread promoting it. I'll have to pay for advertising. If you don't have a large organically-built base for personal interaction- and this quarantine has slammed that door shut, wherever you live- it's left to some attractive element in your presentation to connect. But ask anyone who's invited 900 people to hear them play a venue and been lucky to play for ten. It's a sociological field rich enough to cultivate a master's or even a doctorate. I wonder how many people have said doctorate, but connect with few people? I wonder how many people have thousands, if not millions, of IG and Twitter and FB followers, but find themselves feeling there's maybe one or two people, at best, they can really trust?

Therein lies another conversation, right? Close friendships versus 'popularity.'

What do you say? Is there a blog platform that reaches more people for conversation? Is IG the right level for bigger numbers? More to the point, what's your thoughts on anomie- the feeling of anonymous disconnection, perhaps even being ignored- on social media?