Now, this is not a problem for some of my edgier friends on Facebook who will tolerate little aggravation. Some of them cultivate material that would scare off people who might attack them, like, nearly-nude fantasia tableaus they draw professionally and for fun. He's had some good primary season arguments, but he's long-since been out and proud. Same argument applies to people who place their profession of, say, Christianity first. My second cousin was raised by missionaries in two different African nations. (Socializing in a Black-majority culture has added a different dimension than more socially-isolated Evangelicals). Live and let live.
Those two people, by the way, actually share some critical common ground. And they both have me as a Facebook friend.
A long-suffering friend had a dilemma: he supports Democratic candidates and causes, but his social sphere, cultivated from school, work, and especially, church, contains many who aggrieve him in long comment chains of posts. I occasionally add a mental judo-throw to the melee, but keep ad hominem attacks out of it. It's enough there's an inspired voice of dissent, but really, if I weren't sheltering-in-place, I have to imagine I'd spend the time actually socializing.
I shouldn't take it personally, but I will tell you, I have a very low tolerance for lying and spreading lies. It's practically religious with me. That said, you can write stories without conflict, but that's almost a poem, a dream journal- which is fine. Conflict resolution is the primary driver of most dramatic creations. But I don't want my past time to be rife with drama, either. So, my friend - who sincerely means peace and forgiveness- has found his posts attract a struggle for which, stakes considered, he's become weary. One of the dumbest things a smart person could do, some like my friend Jake Thompson say, is appeal to dumb people with logic. I don't think we're so utterly divided as the passions for certain ideas may imply. I know another friend who just doesn't want the locals peeping in on his true life as a scholar and practioner of Wester Mysteries, because of his place in society, for one. He zapped his account rather than devote time to preserving it, even under an alias. It just becomes unworkable when context 'outs' you.
There's a fulcrum for every decision you weigh.
My friend who inspired this post sincerely is sorry if he's upset anyone, but should he just delete his account, start over- what?
I honestly spent one night in August deleting individuals, most of whom weren't in any contact anyway, based on who had driven me nuts putting out dangerous misinformation and people who support T****. I'm sure I left a few for personal reasons. Your list might reflect more people you know from your walk of life. I came to look at it as a symbol of my protest against people poisoning social media. If it seems unfair, I can only say they were stressing me out with their illogical reality, and do I log in to be stressed out? No. I am already dealing with strictly-limited contact. I wanted more time for posts and people who interest me and reflect positive relationships.
I did have hopes in the first months of the pandemic that I could defuse some misconceptions because it's life-or-death, severe illness and the consequences of inadvertantly spreading harm. I wanted to help people think of how they might live with a clear conscience and good health, and make a good example of how they might spread that idea (instead of COVID-19). At least, maybe they would respect me just a little and see how another might view things. It was soon apparent how much of that percerption was tied up in a culture war reflected in politics that disagreed on our goals and fundamental facts as a nation.
I was tired of arguing. My friends bring me all the bad news I can countenance, but they don't post lies and support of liars. I left a childhood friend's Mom, and she sent me a wildly illogical video post of a 'pastor' which gave me insight as to those who support and believe in a coming period of martial law to strengthen a T***** dictatorship. But I love her and told her not to worry and why that was not practical.
Now, I'm glad I was available- if everyone who felt suppressed closed their account and went over to Parler, then...oh, yeah. That didn't last long. But if those people aren't really seeing what I have to say, I'm not adding to the factors they weigh in what they think about. Maybe if I'm available, there's a chance they'll at least consider how someone might think very differently? Do I want to pay the price of losing whatever we might have in common? Maybe it's not my job to change their minds.
If they miss me, they can always request me, and I, them. Am I lowering my threshold for the reaction of my nerves for disagreement? That's a risk. But on the other hand, I didn't sign up for Facebook to acquire a torture test, either.
So, I do leave space for people who are in a different headspace, but they don't show up trying to gaslight me, walk all over me, bully me, or distress me on my page. I spent years collecting these photos, posts and contacts, so I rather value my account. I use it to make my mental space, a better place.
Be Chill, Cease ill
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