Monday, February 20, 2012

in a blade of grass

We'd come to the park to sit in stillness a few minutes---to let the park feed our impressions, let the trees and grass become a part of our minds to take with us: to take a place of peace within us.

The first thing I realized is how much the dynamic borders of our Pal's paintings thrill me to ponder, as the very deliberately-made circle of cement setting off the low-cut grass suggested for a moment those jagged bolts of power born in visions, from blackness imagined all around it, and I chuckle! I'm just enjoying what they call Children's Park, where for a second evening in a row we find young people, mostly young men in their 20s, socializing, only there are at least seven young women in this group, compared to the one middle-aged woman I'd seen there with twenty young men, who sat and stood, enjoying picnic food and drinks. The day before, we'd seen a teen girl skip across the seven cement blocks that sit beneath the spray that replenishes the duck pond, and her teen boy companion deciding to follow her fairly graceful dance. The group picnicking that day were Occupy protesters. We walked an entire circle around the park---it's under an acre---excitedly talking about how much devotion our own personal projects and endeavors will need, in relation to how much time for joining other things we do not foresee in any formal manner. Social stillness. It will not be the same thing as staying home every day, however---you'll see!

Angela felt welcomed by the atmosphere 'neath the trees, and I followed her to the center of the grass and we both had a seat.

First, I realize these quiet moments of collection are the basis of me starting a new life here again in California---something I should do with no insecurities, for such are the ways I leave behind in my heart.

Second side of that is: my bond with nature out here is the first bond we made, and the one that's never let me down. I am where I belong.

3rd: Just coming outside and befriending the beautiful land and enjoying her climate gives me a friend to my body and senses, and that relationship can replace any outmoded ones, and will probably lead me in the right moment into new friendships out here.

4th: If I just sit still a moment, I have here what I loved most where I grew up: places to hide with the stories and ideas and imaginary excitement, only now I have better and better habits of righting things.

I realize how I've always enjoyed taking a moment to get lost in the physical processes of nature around me, set my thoughts free along with the rousing kinetic energy of the waves or wind or sun, or pretend again what I see is the place of my story to unfold.

I realize how I've enjoyed the biology, chemistry, physics and earth science I had learned and reviewed, whenever I can simply concentrate on that knowledge in action!

I realize how much I enjoy having this very private moment with friendly voices in the air---friendly voices that have no need of me, but give my heart a gift, because I enjoy friendship, even from afar, between others.

I realize how, beneath my school learning was my original genius, the genius of the child, the ability to see the world in a way people's activities sometimes clutters.

I realize memories made when I was no more than six! I find myself looking at the patch of grass as a wilderness, if not a jungle itself, to a person at a centimeter-tall scale. I remember doing this! I have often sneaked this experience into my quiet moments in nature: just your own private imaginary dramas, glimpsed maybe in vignettes, a few still panels of comics strip, improvised quickly, only to be forgotten. (However, the adventure I keep "tucked away" in the communal kitchen here at the Simmons? That one, soon as I'm done playing with it, you'll get to read in my book, Integr8d Fictions---which

I realize needs editing, if I can get into the groove of that!

I realize my heart is full of this idea Jesus mentions: to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, you must be as a little child.

I realize the walk from one patch of grass to the other, which would be about a single big step for me, can seem to represent the distance between California and the East Coast. It could represent the distance between continents---or entire worlds or galaxies! It's all a matter of the scope of the journey you care to imagine.

I realize one day, we'll figure out how to teleport---that is, go from existing in one location to another of our choice. There could be many steps in between---but before you might scoff, consider how working with microscopic machinery has made us aware of a documented, hidden quantum force, evidenced by friction---and that force may become the key to levitating objects and people. Remember: the Wright Brothers first flew about a century ago. Why would you think innovation is truly perished? Besides...

I realize we are going to have to find other ways to use energy for the work that goes into our society, and in this instance, while it applies in every way, I mean physical resources. If someone hadn't cared about planning quality parks and transplanting trees, I would live in an ugly cement scar born of a dredged swamp. I am going to help the people who want to keep Nature around, and get to know my locality in a way like our wonderful friend the Opera Smorg(whose height as she passes through the grass is her own business).

Theodore Geisel---you know, Doctor Seuss? He was born here in San Diego.

I realize how quickly a few minutes of stillness can pass, too, and yet feel so full, like a meal for a part of us that's so empty and hungry, satisfied by something money doesn't buy...but keeping the world free to be like this for everyone is a sincere business, suitable for a humble public educated guy like myself. I hope you get a fill up, this week---one that won't break your wallet in the process, at that.

The Marc Kane took some pictures of her latest creations, and I have been throwing together one every week or so, myself, as it dawns on me I've been terribly lazy not to already be painting! Well...okay, distracted, granted. So you have to clean the brushes and risk a mess---when I play guitar, you don't have to clean up the mess, but believe me, you can have a "spill" any moment!

I kinda kept more to myself a few days last week, evaluating where I am. Time well spent! I hope you're really happy, too.

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