At the bottom of the shaft leading from the harbor of kidnapped boats, Spider Man quickly checks his hand-made filter beneath his mask. "I was afraid I'd need this to deal with the oil spill conditions," he thinks. "I haven't improved much on the design since I used it battling the Master Planner gang for the isotope I needed to cure Aunt May's blood poisoning! * " (Amazing Spider Man #31, 1965)
The Mad Thinker explains his calculations, how he might best utilize the tragic oil spill for his maximum gain.
Hypothesis: the oil spill is the direct result of a lack of calculation. Life without calculation is ill-conceived, indeed! Theory: Roxxon Oil does not have a proper back up plan for clean up or stoppage, leading to deadly sub-standard safety settings...
Conclusion: the clean-up effort is not so carefully monitored as to prevent previously cleared oil-skimming ships from becoming the unwary carrier for valuable smuggled resources.
"For such a shy, reclusive type, he certainly loves to hear himself talk!” laughs Spider Man silently to himself.
(Great, isn't it? Love this part and you want the whole thing, you can check out http://ceaseill.blogspot.com/2010/06/depths-forbidden-spill-and-spider.html!!!)
From his wristwatch, Thinker
uses a beam to initiate his Launch Mode Coordinator. Throughout the mechanism-filled base, the received signals result in a wave of vibranium smuggling ships,creeping from a hidden harbor.
The Thinker speaks to the masked image in the holographic Skype window. "This Savage Land vibranium seized on the open Atlantic will be perfect material for a deep sea well plug of my OWN device! With the exotic mineral in our hands, they will have no choice but to turn to our channels to save the ocean."
"That vibranium is my birthright," says Lord Plunder, "See to it that you utilize it well!"
"Query: Am I not..the Thinker? Farewell, Parnival Plunder!"
He continues raving.
“As the present situation tests the limits of human engineering, my preliminary calibrations of pressure and volume derived by way of approximate water displacement suggests the best material for capping the well quickly is---Vibranium!
I have deduced, already, the errors of Roxxon Oil---no doubt covered up amid meaningless permits from the government! The statistical anomaly that eludes them is all-too-clear to one such as I...”
He spins around dramatically, pointing at the shadowed, spying wall-crawler.
“---as YOU are!”
Spidey's spider sense renews its tingling symphonies of survival. The strange elevator discus he has ridden through the shaft to this ultra laboratory comes to life.
"That, my intruder," says the Mad Thinker,
Is my
Anti grav lift for transporting the vibranium but it will also serve to take you off your feet!"
Before he can be whisked away, Spidey
spins a web and begins to crawl back to the ground, still floating away.
"Looks like you'll have to reschedule your Parnival Cruise Line!"
The Thinker begins to key up something from the vault embedded in the makeshift ceiling, while fluorescent lights begin to flicker.
From a saucer-like silver portal, his hand-crafted henchman, the
Awesome Android, bursts in.
"Thinker, you could just tell me: are you really m-mad?"
As the fifteen foot tall creature molds his hand into an unbearable hammer, Spider Man swiftly squeezes out of the corner wherein he is nearly trapped. He swings the length of the lab, as the android’s putty like malleability remakes the arm into whip spun with its inhuman might!
Always thinking on his feet, Spidey reflects on the situation while dodging for his life!
“What does he want the vibranium for? It would be ideal for creating a plug in that mile-deep well! Is that what he intends? Should I NOT try to stop him?”
Spider Man swings straight into the Android head, kicking its non-descript face.
Thinker: “There is some aspect of intelligence at the sentient level that defies an algorithmic assessment---theoretically, thought IS beyond calculation, so that it might be imprecise, or perhaps, intuitive!”
Unharmed, the Android snatches the air where the somersaulting super hero stood half a second before.
“However, I require predictability in even my Android most Awesome!”
Android touches Spider Man after he attempts another punch, then from the wall, he webs its feet to the cavern floor.
“One factor complicates any predictions made by my antagonists:
So long as my android can absorb a punch ---“
The Awesome Android attaches its massive frame to the ceiling, crawling quickly towards Spider Man!---
"Or a power for that matter," continues the Thinker, "from a condition or quality in its opponent...”
---a dazzling flip, now, onto the floor before the Android launches itself like a ramrod! The ground around Spider Man shatters.
“...or surroundings such as deep water pressures...well, the demonstration speaks for itself. I must away!”
Making matters worse, as Spider Man discovers the passage out of the lab, a team of the Plunderer’s men arrive with their searing laser guns. A platform beneath the Thinker’s feet begins to rise.
“You’re simply too late, Spider Man.”
As the Thinker dons his pre-launch control interface harness, an Anti-gravity elevator raises him into his escape vessel.
“I will meet with my smuggled ore within the marshlands near the shore. I rhymed! Bwah-ha-ha-ha! What an exquisitely precise day!“
He sits in his hunched Thinker pose as automated modules prepare him for a speedy rocket launch. Spider Man must take his chances in the below sea floor caverns.
“At least I’ll draw them away from the freed hostages above who remain trapped until help arrives,” thinks Spider Man. “Maybe find out where they are taking the stolen vibranium."
"If only men like the Thinker would resist greed and so much control over life, they could use their inspiration to help make energy exploration safer. As it is what we need is a relief well to take the tectonic pressure off the escaping oil!”
"It’s too dark to see anything in here---my spider-sense is the only thing keeping me from being a deep sea fricasee! And Awesome Andy ! If he doesn’t stop climbing the walls, I’ll sue for copyright infringement!”
At last, nearly pinned down, Spider Man faces the unknown dark. He plays it from the gut.
He leaps a chasm to escape Plunderer’s fire, without any sight of where he leaps, empty handed.
The lunging android plunges into the crevice.
Spider Man swings down, causing the Plunderers to direct their fire into the floor...the sea crust beneath the feet of the Awesome Android.
He risks his life in the hot, dark, deadly environment, his spider-agility keeping him just ahead of the breath taking, pulverizing blows of Thinker’s Android.
The lasers and the Android’s pounding are taking their toll. The pit’s erupting in pressurized oil!
Quickly Spider Man uses his webs to carry as many men across as he can, in three trips; all but one choose to hold their fire. That one is punched by his fellows.
Spider Man reminds them there’s no time and the gallons of oil ooze up from the pit, carrying the Awesome Android helplessly in its untamed crude gusher.
You wanted riches, Thinker? Well, tonight it’s time to roll out the barrel!
“My laboratory!" says the rocket-launching villain. "Swamped with petroleum! Theoretically this launch will cause it to igni---”
FWAassH!! Ka-Thoom! goes the fume-heavy lab below his firing engines.
The Spill Android whacks away at the crust, where the oil erupts.
"The android treats the gusher as an attack!" Spider Man observes. "Its programming is too limited to see the danger of the gushing oil until it’s up to its neck in it!
Hope the oil gushing below will continue to relieve pressure beneath the seafloor, to slow the oil from the burst well. Perhaps now they can get it safely contained...and the cavern will hold the crude for a little while, thanks in part to the durable facility that seals it off for now!
Too bad I don't have an Anti-Grav elevator now! Better get to the surface on the double!
Now if they can just fit it with a proper cap and valve before it flows back up to the subsea surface, the pressure beneath the sea will be less---and the main leak will slow enough to close it.
Yeah...lots of “ifs”...too many, web slinger...too many.
Still, in the end, at least the Thinker's supposedly dumb robot showed more sense than its creator!
After all, the "drilling" we did just might save a few thousand tarballs from hitting the coast! I wonder did it ever realize---it was on OUR side?
THE END
THE END
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