Everyone has their own frustrations they must learn to set aside: one could even imagine fun ways to send unwanted thoughts away.
Two days ago, I awakened to a series of thoughts that made me unhappy. This is why some insist on a particular ritual or reading or meditation, so they might get their mind into a place less vulnerable to misery. The early hours Monday became a list of my own private disappointments. I realized I had someone there who would listen. But here is the thing: even if you have a cheerful person with you who keeps taking whatever thoughts trouble you and giving them an aikido throw based on their own weight…couldn’t you just decide to stop having the thoughts? If one chooses to feel bad, the weight of those thoughts remain. Eventually, it becomes an exercise in sucking your poor companion dry!
My companion, always true, suggests this may give me insight into a person I love and know who gets mad at the world, desirous to test friendships and doubtful of the genuine value of loving. One can walk away from the warmth of contact with those who reply with love, but the decision to live in the cold alone is a decision in the direction of death, not life. None of us are above disappointment---especially if we are obsessed in changes others need to make, when they will not---so we might have some compassion for those who wallow in disappointment, while in no way condoning such self-defeat.
So it is, when one shares hurt feelings, disappointment in the conduct of others, desperation over money, strong desire for attention---maybe coupled with the knowledge one doesn’t want the attention in a negative way---and yet one knows they need to let those thoughts go…well, this is a challenge. Yet, once one chooses the path of self-mastery, while the challenges remain, one’s solutions take hold with greater efficiency. Sometimes laughter, sometimes mysteries, sometimes imagination---there are many other choices to keep the bad feelings from taking root. They rely on a healthy thought, then another, then another, and all of these can be found if one lets the bad thoughts go quiet long enough.
There’s two things everyone needs: an appreciation of what they have, and a dream of what else they might want out of life. Satisfaction---and dissatisfaction. Hopefully you will always have dreams left to fulfill ahead of you. A good, calm breath, the decision to smile: these are gifts waiting for you. The decision to smile is like the decision to get up and walk: to get up is not to walk, but it is the beginning of walking.
The value of yourself becomes apparent when you least need think of it; when you are enjoying your life, its value’s obvious. It is when you do not want what you think of as your life that you search for change, and this dissatisfaction keeps you changing. However, you can find a way to enjoy the task for its own sake.
Let your mind and conversation be treated with care, and treat those of others with care as well.
Finally, on this shortest day of the year, as we prepare for ever brighter days to come, let me tell you about rediscovering Complete Disappear Land. Never mind I wanted so much to find an affordable way to offer the book for sale; I had a lot of fun with the Marc Kane drawing it in Windows Paint, and writing it showed me some wonderful lessons about how we are, and what ways of thinking help us live better lives. I got absorbed in thoughts of again re-creating the voices of the Iwangosomwheres and Zafooie and One Bug Please, and here I was, two days later, starting my morning again concentrating on what it will take to share whimsical and helpful ideas in the form of fantastic characters.
I started Monday a little like Sturgeon Burgess in my story: a bit grouchy, you might say, yet continuing to go along, even against my own disbelief, to find Complete Disappear Land. I had lots of things to give away there. Without my decision to hop on the Iwangosomwheres---without Teaseberry to shrink me to the right size to ride---I may never have gotten the Kryptic reference that would take me where I really wanted to go. I never would’ve even vanished with the Mid-Poofter in the first place, though, without tagging along with my own Happy Surprise. Why would I spoil her day? If I wanted to be nice to her---I’d simply lighten up and be nice to myself.
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