Two days later, the phone rang. It was his dear college friend Von, wishing him a happy wedding.
“Hey, what’s up?” Von started. You could never have guessed English was his second language. A steady diet of American and British programs, and liberal use around his home in Sri Lanka, had prepared him well for his American trip. After his initial shyness led him to be dubbed “The Brown Recluse,” he never missed a chance to come to the drawing room or the bars and diners on the Strip and socialize.
“So Peter Parker’s found his Mary Jane?”
“She’s in my web, Von.”
“Well, don’t let her slip away,” he quipped. “No bridge diving without a bungee! Although I can understand a girl diving off the George Washington Bridge to get away from your diatribes.”
“Aw, get stuffed, Von. She’s such a sweet, down-to-Earth chick. I can’t wait for you to meet her. We met last month.”
“Wait, are you doing this for a green card or something?” joked Von.
“Yes, and I rushed the date before she notices they’re counterfeit dollars,” Lewis retorted.
“So Booster Gold needed to marry before he got deported back into the time stream,” rhapsodized Von, “and Blue Beetle bribed Queen Bee to tie the knot with him, with Batman officiating?”
“And the whole thing takes place on the island of Kooey Kooey Kooey,” continued Lewis, “so they can have a casino wedding. Until they ask for any objections, now or forever hold your peace, and Major Disaster shows up with a ring and a desperate plea!”
“Last month. Wow! She must be really into you!”
“We were about to flee the country---I mean, travel across the country---and we decided to let her Dad officiate. If she comes to her senses the next day, I figured you would fly around the Earth at super-speed and save us an annulment!”
“If you get near my neck of the woods, you should stop by Mallet,” Von offered. “I’m moving out next month with a couple of friends, but you two will be welcome there, too!”
They continued bantering, with promises Von would spare Gina surprise attacks at the front door until they got to be friends. Ten minutes after they said “let me let you go,” they finally hung up, as Lewis heard the apartment door open and his roommate slowly trudging up the steps.